g turns 4 - a reflection

I have had a lot of mixed feelings about g's 4th. It's big because it signifies her first step away from home. Though she has attended daycare in the past, this is the first time that she has entered a large public school building with a defined teacher and a clear curriculum of work. (It is a bit light on academics for my taste but g is the oldest in her class due to where her birthday fell) It feels different too because I have been assailed with school stuff (parent council meetings, multiple fundraisers and the like). Above all this, the difference I think is internal.

This being her first foray towards independence, I wonder if I have provided her with enough tools to deal with life in school. I wonder if I had given her strength to be herself and to stand up for herself. I wonder if the shy little wallflower that she is will finally come out of her shell and grow. I am still wondering. Almost 2 months after the start of school, I am still wondering. It is not in her nature to blurt information, so news of school goings-on are scant or non-existent. My line of questioning has to be specific (what was lunch? what did you and your friend E played today?) This poses a problem since I go on the little information that I have observed or gleaned from previous conversations. I am wondering if this is a glimpse of her high school years when the responses to my questions would probably be just as brief.

This is a small part of letting go, the beginning of her flight. I hope for her a long and glorious adventure though some of these will from now on remain a mystery to me.

g is my wonder girl. she is the child of my heart, so intelligent, wildly emotional.

g turns 4

we had g's big birthday bash a little early this year. It was part of a big October kids' birthday extravaganza. It was nice to see everyone again. I realized then that despite summer being the season for gatherings, I barely saw anyone this summer. Sad.

I love this shot of g because I think it truly reflected the feel of the party~ carefree and happy.

It is hard to believe that g is already 4 and going to school. I am in the middle now of reviewing all my pictures for the year to create this year's scrapbook. She began the year with a recital at dance school. She looked like such a baby then.

How time flies.

So many pumpkins....

Animaniacs Remixed

This is g's rendition of the Animaniac theme song.



For the curious, the original version is more like this.

Flash Fever

Very odd thing happened last night and I am putting the word out to figure out why.

g woke up in the middle of the night, crying. She told me she was crying because she wanted me to give her water. (That's not something she usually cries about.) I felt her forehead as I was trying to calm her down. It was hot, really hot. I gave her water and took her temp. She was 103.6. I took another and it was the same.

I gave her a dose of ibuprofen and put her back to bed. I asked if she needed anything else, she just said that she thinks she needs to go to sleep now (something she doesn't usually say.)

Before that, she was complaining about pain in her knees and not being able to walk on it. I thought that this was a reaction to all the attention that s is getting. (s has been sick the last few days). She also told me before she slept that her eyes feel like they're "sleepy." She didn't have a fever when she went to sleep though.

The fever spike took place around 1:00 am. When she woke up today, I fully expected her to be sick and have at least a little remnant of a fever. She didn't. Her temp was fine.

Anyone has any ideas of what this is?

A TYRANT IN THE MAKING

A post from dad...g has lately become somewhat of a crybaby. The slightest touch or disapproval from anyone would send her into tears. The situation is no different in response to her little sister, s. The situation between my two girls can turn ugly fast. One second they're playing and the next second g is in tears.

While i was busy preparing dinner tonight, the kids were engaged in their typical roughhousing. All of a sudden g comes running to me in the kitchen crying that her little sister just kicked her. In an effort to empower her to be more independent and less of a crybaby, F and me are trying to let g decide what she can do in response to things that upset her. I asked g to calmly stop crying and to think about what she wanted to do. She paused for just a moment and then ran back to the living room and confronted her little sister. With her index finger pointed and wagging at little s, g yelled at her and said "s, no kicking!" Ordinarily s would slink back to a corner because she knew she did something wrong or just stand there and stare coyly, but today after hearing her sister yell at her, she stuck out her little index finger, stared squarely into her older sister's eyes and said in perfect english "no crying!" That upset g even more and she yelled even louder "no kicking" to which s replied "no crying." The yelling and finger wagging went back and forth for a bit more before i broke it up. g was in tears and s evolved from yelling "no crying" to "no kicking."

Today is the first time i saw s verbally stick up for herself. I fear the tyrant brewing inside of her.

6 Food Mistakes Parents Make - NYT Article

I thought that this was an interesting article. Link is here.

Text below:

HARRIET WOROBEY, a childhood nutrition instructor, knows firsthand that children can be picky eaters, but even she was surprised by a preschooler last year who ate a mostly chocolate diet.

“Chocolate milk, chocolate chip muffins, chocolate chip pancakes — it was unbelievable,” said Ms. Worobey, director of the Rutgers University Nutritional Sciences Preschool in New Brunswick, N.J. “His mother just thought, ‘That’s what he wants, so that’s what I’m going to do.’ ”

While most parents haven’t resorted to the chocolate diet, they can relate to the daily challenge of finding foods that children will eat. Although obesity dominates the national discussion on childhood health, many parents are also worried that their child’s preferred diet of nuggets and noodles could lead to a nutritional deficit.

Fussiness about food is a normal part of a child’s development. Young children are naturally neophobic — they have a distrust of the new. Even the most determined parents can be cowed by a child’s resolve to eat nothing rather than try something new. As a result, parents often give in, deciding that a bowl of Cocoa Puffs or a Pop-Tart, while not ideal, must be better than no food at all.

“I think parents feel like it’s their job to just make their children eat something,” Ms. Worobey said. “But it’s really their job to serve a variety of healthy foods and get their children exposed to foods.”

A series of simple meal-time strategies can help even the pickiest eater learn to like a more varied diet. Here’s a look at six common mistakes parents make when feeding their children.

Sending children out of the kitchen With hot stoves, boiling water and sharp knives at hand, it is understandable that parents don’t want children in the kitchen when they’re making dinner. But studies suggest that involving children in meal preparation is an important first step in getting them to try new foods.

Researchers at Teachers College at Columbia University studied how cooking with a child affects the child’s eating habits. In one study, nearly 600 children from kindergarten to sixth grade took part in a nutrition curriculum intended to get them to eat more vegetables and whole grains. Some children, in addition to having lessons about healthful eating, took part in cooking workshops. The researchers found that children who had cooked their own foods were more likely to eat those foods in the cafeteria, and even ask for seconds, than children who had not had the cooking class.

When children are involved in meal preparation, “they come to at least try the food,” said Isobel Contento, professor of nutrition education at Teachers College and a co-author of the study. “Kids don’t usually like radishes, but we found that if kids cut up radishes and put them in the salad, they love the radishes.”

Pressuring them to take a bite Demanding that a child eat at least one bite of everything seems reasonable, but it’s likely to backfire.

Studies show that children react negatively when parents pressure them to eat foods, even if the pressure offers a reward. In one study at Pennsylvania State University, researchers asked children to eat vegetables and drink milk, offering them stickers and television time if they did. Later in the study, the children expressed dislike for the foods they had been rewarded for eating.

“Parents say things like ‘eat your vegetables and you can watch TV,’ but we know that kind of thing doesn’t work either,” said Leann L. Birch, director of Penn State’s childhood obesity research center and a co-author of the study. “In the short run, you might be able to coerce a child to eat, but in the long run, they will be less likely to eat those foods.”

The better approach is to put the food on the table and encourage a child to try it. But don’t complain if she refuses, and don’t offer praise if she tastes it. Just ask her if she wants some more or take seconds yourself, but try to stay neutral.

Keeping ‘good stuff’ out of reach Parents worry that children will binge on treats, so they often put them out of sight or on a high shelf. But a large body of research shows that if a parent restricts a food, children just want it more.

In another Penn State study, researchers experimented to determine whether forbidden foods were more desirable. Children were seated at tables and given unlimited access to plates of apple or peach cookie bars — two foods the youngsters had rated as “just O.K.” in earlier taste tests. With another group, some bars were served on plates, while some were placed in a clear cookie jar in the middle of the table. The children were told that after 10 minutes, they could snack on cookies from the jar.

The researchers found that restricting the cookies had a profound effect: consumption more than tripled compared with when the cookies were served on plates.

Other studies show that children whose food is highly restricted at home are far more likely to binge when they have access to forbidden foods.

The lesson for parents? Don’t bring foods that you feel the need to restrict into the house. Instead, buy healthful snacks and give children free access to the food cabinets.

Dieting in front of your children Kids are tuned into their parents’ eating preferences and are far more likely to try foods if they see their mother or father eating them. A Rutgers study of parent and child food preferences found that preschoolers tended to like or reject the same fruits and vegetables their parents liked or didn’t like. And other research has shown girls are more likely to be picky eaters if their mothers don’t like vegetables.

Given this powerful effect, parents who are trying to lose weight should be aware of how their dieting habits can influence a child’s perceptions about food and healthful eating. In one study of 5-year-old girls, one child noted that dieting involved drinking chocolate milkshakes — her mother was using Slim-Fast drinks. Another child said dieting meant “you fix food but you don’t eat it.”

A 2005 report in the journal Health Psychology found that mothers who were preoccupied with their weight and eating were more likely to restrict foods for their daughters or encourage them to lose weight. Daughters of dieters were also more likely to try diets as well. The problem is, restrictive diets don’t work for most people and often lead to binge eating and weight gain. By exposing young children to erratic dieting habits, parents may be putting them at risk for eating disorders or a lifetime of chronic dieting. “Most mothers don’t think their kids are soaking up this information, but they are,” Dr. Birch said. “They’re teaching it to their daughters even though it doesn’t work for them.”

Serving boring vegetables Calorie-counting parents often serve plain steamed vegetables, so it’s no wonder children are reluctant to eat them. Nutritionists say parents shouldn’t be afraid to dress up the vegetables. Adding a little butter, ranch dressing, cheese sauce or brown sugar to a vegetable dish can significantly improve its kid appeal. And adding a little fat to vegetables helps unlock their fat-soluble nutrients. The few extra calories you’re adding are a worthwhile tradeoff for the nutritional boost and the chance to introduce a child to a vegetable.

Giving up too soon Ms. Worobey said she has often heard parents say, “My kid would never eat that.” While it may be true right now, she noted that eating preferences often change. So parents should keep preparing a variety of healthful foods and putting them on the table, even if a child refuses to take a bite. In young children, it may take 10 or more attempts over several months to introduce a food.

Sibling dynamics and friendships can also change a child’s eating habits. Dr. Birch of Penn State noted that her first child was always willing to try new foods, but that her second child was not. “Part of it was just him defining his place in the family,” she said. By the age of 10 or 11, he didn’t want to be outdone by his sister and was far more willing to try new foods.

Susan B. Roberts, a Tufts University nutritionist and co-author of the book “Feeding Your Child for Lifelong Health,” suggested a “rule of 15” — putting a food on the table at least 15 times to see if a child will accept it. Once a food is accepted, parents should use “food bridges,” finding similarly colored or flavored foods to expand the variety of foods a child will eat. If a child likes pumpkin pie, for instance, try mashed sweet potatoes and then mashed carrots. If a child loves corn, try mixing in a few peas or carrots. Even if a child picks them out, the exposure to the new food is what counts.

“As parents, you’re going to make decisions as to what you want to serve,” Ms. Worobey said. “But then you just have to relax and realize children are different from day to day.”

Easy Banana Bread (great kiddie activity)

I got this from another mommy. g and I have been experimenting with baking together. Well, the results seem like an experiments. I have been on the lookout recently for activities we can do together and baking or cooking seems to be a natural thing for mommies and girlies.

So now on to the recipe:

Banana Bread

1/2 cup butter Cream together

3/4 cup sugar

2 beaten eggs Add to above

1 cup mashed ripe bananas

1 teas. baking soda Mix together and add to above

4 tablespoons sour cream (Will start to bubble up)

1 teas. vanilla Add to above

1 1/2 cups sifted flour Add to above and mix well.

Bake at 350 for 45 minutes.

My additions/comments on the recipe:
1. butter should be room temperature. (Every baker out there reading this is probably rolling his eyes. Sorry.)
2.the kids loved opening the bananas and mashing them up.
3. I found this cool video of how to cream butter for the newbies out there.

The results:
g gives it 2 thumbs up.

Staten Island Children's Museum

I'll be back for more details but I wanted to share the pictures.

Statenislandkids

The crazy month of August

It's been a really hectic month but I'd like to share our pictures over the last month.

This is Liberty State park during our sad attempt to fly a kite.

boo-bah bah

Just having a little taste.

Blueberries anyone?

g at Johnson Family farm

Mommy confession

9:22 pm - This is arguably the best part of the day. Yes, I admit it. It is quiet in the house. I am watching "The Next Food Network Star". I have poured myself a rather strong glass of plum wine. For the first time in my typical day, I breathe. Not that the day is over but that I can at least work at my own pace. There is still a lunch and/or dinner to prepare. More often there is a document or two that needs to be prepared for work. There is some cleaning that needs to be done. The list goes on and on and on.

As much as I love motherhood, I need this quiet every night.

Disease proof your child

I can't recall anymore how I found this book, Disease-Proof Your Child by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. In the book, he advocates for nutritional excellence. As defined in the book, nutritional excellence is mainly a vegan diet. Though he feels that vegan is the way to go for everyone (including and especially kids who have started solids), he makes a little compromise for some lean meat and some dairy (but only low fat).

There are some tips that are pretty useful in the book. For one, he lists ten super foods which is a great guideline to incorporate. (Excerpted from the book/website)

Avocados are a clean, healthy source of healthy fatty acids. They are rich in cholesterol-lowering phytosterols and high in the powerful anti-oxidant glutathione. Avocados are healthy anti-cancer food. Use it in place of butter, mash it with bananas for young children, and use it in lots of avocado-based dressings and dips.

Blueberries/Blackberries are packed with tannins, anthocyanidins, flavonoids, polyphenols, and proanthcyanidins that have been linked to prevention and reversal of age-related mental decline. They also have powerful anti-cancer effects. Use frozen organic berries in the winter when fresh ones are not available.

Cantaloupes are another vitamin powerhouse. With only 56 calories a cup, one gets a huge amount of vitamin C and beta-carotene as well as folate, potassium, fiber, thiamin, niacin, pantothenic acid, and vitamin B6.

Carrots/Beets are colorful root crops that add beauty and flavor to dishes. Shredded raw in salads, cooked, or in soups, they are high in fiber and antioxidants compounds such as cartonoids abd betacyanin, a powerful cancer protective agent found to inhibit cell mutations.

Flax Seeds are rich in lignans and omega-3 fatty acids, and scientific studies have confirmed that flax seeds have a positive influence on everything from cholesterol levels and constipation to cancer and heart disease. Use ground flax seed in oatmeal, or add them to whipped frozen bananas, stewed apples, and cinnamon and nut balls. Keep in mind that the scientifically documented benefits from flax seeds come from raw, ground flax seed, not flax seed oil.

Green Lettuce is exceptionally low in calories, but contains an abundance of phytonutrients, plant proteins, vitamins, minerals, and fiber. Eat salad with lettuce every day.

Kale is a fantastic high-nutrient green vegetable to add to soups and to serve chopped.

Sesame Seeds are one of the most mineral-rich foods in the world and a potent source of calcium, magnesium, copper, iron, manganese, zinc, vitamins, and fiber. They are also rich in anti-cancer lignans that are uniquely found in sesame seeds alone. Grind some unhulled sesame seeds into a powder to sprinkle on salads and vegetables. Toast lightly and mix with eggplant, chickpeas, scallions, and garlic for a healthy and delicious dip.

Strawberries are high in folic acid, flavonoids, iron, and vitamin C. They provide a good source of dietary fiber and potassium yet contain only 60 calories per cup. Use strawberries and frozen strawberries frequently. Try a fruit smoothie by blending together a banana, orange juice, and frozen strawberries.

Tomatoes have been a hot topic in recent years because their consumption has been linked to dramatic reduction in the incidence of common cancers. One of the tomatoes' heavily investigated anti-cancer phytochemicals is lycopene, which has been shown to be protective against cancer, including prostate cancer, breast cancer, endometrial cancer, lung cancer, and colorectal cancers."

The other tip that I liked is regarding nuts. He liked nuts as an alternate (read - better) form of fat. However it shouldn't still be consumed in large quantities.

There is one point though that he made regarding picky eaters that turned on the "light bulb" for me. His advice was to never coerce a child to eat. Seems like an oft repeated mantra but he follows it up with a new mantra - "I will not be concerned with the number of calories consumed by my child" It finally clicked. I really did just stop pushing s to eat. It was getting more and more frustrating. I've tried many things but often she will eat as much as she wants and as often as she wants. So now I don't push anymore. I stopped completely. I would ask the nanny how much she ate. However much it is, it is enough until she asks for more. That has been such a relief.

In summary, he makes a lot of interesting points though many of his points were made in most health magazines for years. So there is probably no reason the book should have gone to almost 230 pages.

My rating - read through the website. Everything is there and the information is indexed for quick access.

Darfur - a primer in 10 minutes

I know that this is not mommy related but I was so impressed at how clearly and succinctly this short video was able to explain the conflict that even I with my mommy (read - foggy) brain could understand.

Boston, part 3 - Whale Watching

This is one of the few pictures I took. The whale watching trip really went well. I was so hesitant about the whole thing because I was afraid that we would not see whales and that we would all get seasick. This was taken with no zoom lens. The whales were really that close.

We booked a tour with Boston Harbor Cruise. I booked over the phone. It was a little annoying that I never got an email confirm of my booking. I had to call back and get a confirm number. I also like this tour operator because unlike the New England Aquarium tour that was going to charge for every person onboard (so for us. that's 2 adults, 1 senior and 2 kids). Whereas this operator will only charge for adults and seniors. Kids under 4 are free.

Though the tour turned out to be 3 1/2 hours (it was advertised at 3 hours), the time went by really quickly. We had the first whale sighting within an hour or so. It was pretty awesome to see.

Now some words of caution:
Whales don't breach very often. A breach is when the whale basically jumps out of the water. We found out that whales only breach about 10% of the time and usually as a result of trying to get to some "itch" or some irritation that has latched to its skin. It can also be a form of communication. However since it takes a lot of energy to do this move, it doesn't happen often. So adjust your expectations. Because if you came to see jumping whales, you'll be disappointed.

It's colder in the open ocean, especially when the boat is traveling at top speed. When the experts say this online, believe them. I forgot my jacket at home and thought that since it was a warm summer day, I would be fine. I don't get cold much but it was chilly on the upper deck. I should have listened. So if you are planning to be on the upper deck, plan on bringing a sweater or thick windbreaker with a hood.

If you're feeling lucky.... I chose to go with the advice of staking a spot on the upper deck for the best view. However I think everyone got that advice, so it got pretty crowded. Whereas Gmom, G and the kids remained downstairs inside the cabin so that they can stay warm. When the whale sightings began, everyone made a dash for the upper level, leaving the windows of cabin open for viewing. G got some really great video of the whales without leaving the comfort of the climate-controlled cabin. He was lucky. Later on, a bunch of kids came back from upper deck and his clear view got obstructed.

Boston, part 2

After a great time at the Children's museum, the family C retired to our hotel.
for a nice afternoon nap. Instead of the whole production of taking the kids out trying to scope for food, we left them with Gmom napping while G and I tried to find get food. We found Thai Basil Restaurant. I was very encouraged by the amount of local kids (probably university kids) who were piling into the place. Lots of small families too.

The food was acceptable Thai. Of course, I made the mistake of ordering a lo mein, thinking that the kids might like that. Instead they took to the Mango fried rice. The lo mein looked a little sickly but everything else was just ok.

After an arduous swim in the hotel pool, it was time for fireworks or more accurately, it was time to wait for the fireworks which did not happen till almost 11:00 PM. For young families who want to watch fireworks, I think this might have been the best decision. I paid more than I would normally for a smallish hotel room but the view to the fireworks were amazing.

From my research, this is one of the few hotels in the area that actually has a view to the fireworks display from the rooms. We played the broadcast on TV to listen to announcements and watched the fireworks through the window of our climate-controlled hotel room. It was fabulous.

Some tips for those wanting to book a room for the 4th of July Fireworks in Boston:
1. The hotel that we used was the Westin Copley Place. There are other Westin properties in Boston, so make sure you have the right one.
2. Request a room on a high floor. We were on the 22nd floor and we are slightly obstructed by the roof of the building next door (check picture above). 22nd floor is the lowest floor to be on for a good view (I think).
3. Request a river view.

Was it worth the extra $$$? I think so. g really wanted to see fireworks. To try to bring the kids to the waterfront in the heat and have her waits HOURS just felt excruciating to me. It was a once-in-a-lifetime expense. She has these pictures. We can check this off the list.

The hotel was clean. The pool was also clean. The staff were easy to deal with. The hotel was also convenient in the sense that it is near the subway.

RIPOFF ALERT - the hotel has valet parking ($42 for the evening) and self- parking ($32 for the evening). Both prices are highly inflated. When we inquired about other parking options in the area, we were told that there weren't much. Driving around the corner to look for the hotel self-parking entrance, I saw another parking garage sign for $9. I parked there. Not knowing that metered parking is suspended because of the holiday. I found out the day after. So I could have parked for free. Lesson learned.

A word on sunscreen

I found this website and found it to be incredibly useful in understanding about sunscreens. It is a huge read for busy moms but well worth it when you consider that it does not recommend some of the most popular brands of sunscreens like Coppertone.

It breaks down each product by toxicity and by effectiveness. It is interesting that it also recommends a common drugstore brand above the leading ones in the field.

This site is not limited to sunscreen but covers all manner of cosmetics and skin care. I also like the fact that this is primarily a research group, not affiliated with any company and not trying to sell any other product of its own.

Cosmetic Database

Boston!!!

The Family C has just returned from a wonderful trip to Boston, MA. We went there for the 4th of July fireworks. g has always liked fireworks. We set out early Saturday morning, hoping to arrive in Boston around 1:00 pm.

With Gmom in tow, we set off more or less on schedule. Almost as soon as the car started, Gmom proceeded to serve up a variety of snacks. Most surprisingly, after an hour or so of snacks, g & s fell asleep at 10:30 AM. I can't remember the last time these kids went to sleep that early but they both did.

Upon arriving in Boston at noon (a whole hour earlier than my expectation. Thanks, Tom tom), we were primed for some of that famous New England seafood. Our first stop was the Barking Crab Restaurant.

Our rating - too much for too little

We had asked about their crab bowl. It's basically 4 lbs of different types of crab "clusters" (not sure what a crab cluster is.) I think there should be snow crab, dungeness crabs and king crabs. All this for the "bargain" price of $80. Hmmm....No. So instead of the crab bowl, we got 3 appetizers, 4 sides and a kid's meal. Our total ended up being $80 anyway which is the irony. The food was ok though not worth $80. It's a shack albeit a glorified one. We had the steamed mussels, calamari and crab cakes. For sides, we had 2 orders of jasmine rice, green beans and bok choy with shitake mushrooms. The portions were really small. Flavorwise, well, it's nothing to write up. I'll leave it at that.

Next stop, Boston Children's Museum

This was not part of the original plan but since we saw a sign for it at the Barking crab, I thought, "why not?" The kids were rested and we needed something low key to do before the fireworks tonight. So we went and it turned out to be one of the best children's museum I have gone to.

It had a ton of things to do. There were the usual animal displays, bubbles, water area and oversized climbing structures. I also liked that there were cultural displays as well. They had a recreation of a traditional Japanese house. A new exhibit for the rest of the year is about Hangzhou, China. There was a recreation of a typical Chinese kitchen (funny, looks a lot like mine - complete with oyster sauce, wok and steamer). There was a video class on working an abacus. There was also a water wall where kids should be trying Chinese calligraphy (ie excuse for kids to play with water and a brush). Costumes and a small stage for a Chinese opera was also available for play. I would post a particularly incriminating photo but for the sake of the marriage, I won't.

The most fun was a "photo souvenir booth" where there was a background set and camera hooked up to the internet and pc. You take the picture, enter your email address and voila!!!

In summary, Love it.

g says the darnest things #251

The back story - The Family C finally got a new set of wheels. It was long overdue considering all the mechanical difficulties that poor civic had and about $1500 in repairs due. One major repair was air conditioning. The AC stopped working months ago. So while driving to a playdate, g and I were talking about the new car. She mentioned she wanted to show her friend, a, her new big car. She also said that a had a small car while she had a big car. Not wanting to make her feel that somehow having a big car was any better than a small car, I explained that our small car's AC had broken down and that is why we needed to get the bigger car. That some people did not want or need a bigger car.

Fast forward to actual story....

G was doing brain quest with g. In one picture, she was asked to identify what was missing from the image. The image was of a car interior with no steering wheel.

So G asked, "what's missing, g?"

g responds, "the car has no air conditioning."