I have mentioned in past entries about how I have felt I have to be the disciplinarian because Nny is a push over and G has been working nights. I am beginning to see now that g is beginning to see me in such a negative way. She is beginning to expect that when I come into her crying fit that I will be the one to discipline her. In a day, I must say no to her at least 10 times. I feel horrible that I can't just enjoy her, that I have to constantly be the police officer.
Today g got into the cleanser cabinet and though Nny was right beside her, I thought that it is best that she should get used to not being allowed into that cabinet. Nny was trying to gently reason her out of the closet. I looked over and did the full name thing. She looked at me with that mournful look that she has developed in recent weeks and proceeded to bury her face in Nny's leg.
Same thing today when g reached for a pot of soup on the stove. Nny was just blocking g's persistent efforts. I did the same stern talking-to. Again, she ran into Nny's legs and hid from me. That just killed me.
I hate the fact that I have to constantly be yelling her. g is such a sweetheart. She is a bundle of raw emotions though. Today I had to tell her not to eat lint. I didn't even raise my voice but telling her another no just made her dissolve into tears. I feel even worst hen. My daughter now is so intimidated by me that I can't even "gently" tell her anything. I know that is probably not so, but it doesn't help the way I feel.