So our new family has finally settled down. I picked up little S and mom yesteday morning from the hospital. Life has been pretty hectic the last few days with me beginning a new night job and the anticipation of the new baby. But the timing of everything was perfect.
Thursday, November 9th started off like most days. g woke me up at 8 am that morning. I would have prefered to sleep in a bit more but I should get my body reaccustomed to sleep deprivation. My mom was with us that morning so after breakfast we decided to take g out to the park. She's such a fan of the swings and slides. F stayed behind to do some office work. It was about 10:30 am when I got a call on my cellphone from F. She told me she thought it was time. My mom, g and I rushed back from the park. We threw everything into our little Honda Civic and headed out. Ordinarily the drive out to NYC should only be about 10 minutes. But that morning there was so much traffic in the Holland Tunnel. F's contractions were growing so much stronger in the car. I really was afraid I was going to have to do the delivery. After a bit of swerving and maneuvering, we finally made it out to the hospital by 11:30 am. We rushed up to the maternity ward where the nurses were just casually standing around. The Filipino nurses thought F was chinese and started speaking bad Cantonese to her. When they realized she spoke perfect english and also Tagalog their eyes brightened up. She was given the VIP treatment. When the doctor came in to check on the situation we found out F was already 9 cm dilated. Unfortuately for her it was too late to get the epidural. That bit of info did not register in her mind. As she pushed and pushed she pleaded with the nurse and the doctor to give her an epidural. But it seems they can't just give you one. There are some blood tests that need to be run to see if you qualify. The test was being expedited but it would take about 30 minutes and the doctor feared that by the time the results came in the baby would be out. So F was encouraged to just push. She was such a trooper. I have never seen that side of my wife before. Her eyes became bloodshot and her face turned dark red. She looked possessed as she was holding her push for the 10 count. I did not recognize the mother of my children. At the same time I was scared of her I was also scared for her. I did not know if she would be able to do it. But instinct prevailed and by 12:20 pm little S was born.
The whole family is doing great. Pictures to follow.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
This is it....I think
I have been experiencing mild contractions all last night and got myself all worked up. Then they faded. What a buzz kill. This morning, the contractions started coming back. I debated on whether or not I should go to work. I decided to just work from home for about an hour to see how things progress. Well, they have progressed. They are coming on strong and consistent now. Right now, I would say they are about 5 minutes apart and about a minute long each. BOY, do they hurt? I have to remembered that I actually signed up for this gig.
I'll keep y'all posted.
I'll keep y'all posted.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
The resolution
We had decided to fire the nanny that same night (Monday) when I saw the video. We called G's mom for a consult a to how best to handle the situation. There is a slightly delicate situation of this lady being a friend of G's aunt. So it was decided that Gmom would come in and take care of g until we can find someone else or when I go on maternity leave.
An addendum:
By sheer coincidence, the day that Gmom came in to fire the nanny, she took g to the playground. There she saw a chinese woman. She casually asked if she knew anyone who would be interested in caring for a child. The woman said that indeed she did. The phonelines started burning. I was on my way to work then. I was already running a little late because I didn't want to leave g with the nanny for another minute, so I stayed behind to wait for Gmom to arrive. I got the call from G that we were meeting the prospective nanny by the train station. So off I went to train station. Admittedly my guard was up and I was going to be a little hard to impress. She seemed like a nice enough person. The big hitch is that she only spoke Mandarin. G only spoke Cantonese. Gmom only spoke marginal Mandarin. So it is definitely going to be interesting to say the least. I was also slightly impressed with the new nanny that in that first meeting, she tried more than a few times to get g to look at her. She even gave g a kiss on the cheek and tried to carry her. That is more than the other nanny did in the 2 months that she was here. We'll have to see.
An addendum:
By sheer coincidence, the day that Gmom came in to fire the nanny, she took g to the playground. There she saw a chinese woman. She casually asked if she knew anyone who would be interested in caring for a child. The woman said that indeed she did. The phonelines started burning. I was on my way to work then. I was already running a little late because I didn't want to leave g with the nanny for another minute, so I stayed behind to wait for Gmom to arrive. I got the call from G that we were meeting the prospective nanny by the train station. So off I went to train station. Admittedly my guard was up and I was going to be a little hard to impress. She seemed like a nice enough person. The big hitch is that she only spoke Mandarin. G only spoke Cantonese. Gmom only spoke marginal Mandarin. So it is definitely going to be interesting to say the least. I was also slightly impressed with the new nanny that in that first meeting, she tried more than a few times to get g to look at her. She even gave g a kiss on the cheek and tried to carry her. That is more than the other nanny did in the 2 months that she was here. We'll have to see.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Nanny Saga - the conclusion (hopefully)
Hopefully this will be my last entry about our "nanny" - term used loosely to describe individual that was retained by us to keep watch over g. Yesterday was a fairly average day. I came home from work. G got the job that he has been applying for, so we had planned a little post-birthday/new job celebration. He had called ahead to the nanny telling her that she would need to make any dinner preparations for us. The evening was proceeding as usual with a festive undertow. I was thinking of going to one of our favorite restaurants in Manhattan for dinner and maybe pick up some groceries in Chinatown. It was g's bedtime. We started the sleep sequence and as G took g in for her stories and Barney sons, I went to turn off recording for the day.
Since I figured that I had at least a few minutes before G was done and g was asleep, I decided to review the nanny cam video. The day was pretty uneventful. So I decided to look through Friday's video.
Again the first few clips didn't seem any different from the general indifference that g gets daily until I got to IT. The lady was sitting on the floor. g was clutching onto her puppy, trying to get her attention. g tried to snuggle up to her, but the lady seems to be more engrossed with her singing than bothering with a kid. g continued trying to get close to her. She eventually fell over with a little "nudging". The lady then patted her on the butt. It was a pat but not a very affectionate one. g was annoyed and tried to hit her back. The lady did it again. g tried to hit her again but the lady deflected the swats. The lady then started "flicking" g in the face. She kept doing it even when g started to cry. It upset g so much that aside from crying, she went to the door and started calling for her daddy and then her mommy. The lady did NOTHING to soothe g. She continued singing,laughed then went to the kitchen to get a drink. This went on for more than 20 minutes until g just got tired of crying. I guess she must have realized that no one cared at that point.
I can't really put into words what I felt as I was watching all this unfold. I still can't. I have gone through cycles of emotion. I went from extreme anger to extreme sadness. I calmed down enough to go and get G. He saw the video. I needed a moment to think. I also needed a moment to suppress the desire to come at her with a baseball bat. So we decided to go to dinner, somewhere local. I lost my appetite. I really couldn't focus. I felt bad that as G was excitedly recounting his new internship and the prospect of his new job, all that I could do was replay the scene again and again in my head.
Since I figured that I had at least a few minutes before G was done and g was asleep, I decided to review the nanny cam video. The day was pretty uneventful. So I decided to look through Friday's video.
Again the first few clips didn't seem any different from the general indifference that g gets daily until I got to IT. The lady was sitting on the floor. g was clutching onto her puppy, trying to get her attention. g tried to snuggle up to her, but the lady seems to be more engrossed with her singing than bothering with a kid. g continued trying to get close to her. She eventually fell over with a little "nudging". The lady then patted her on the butt. It was a pat but not a very affectionate one. g was annoyed and tried to hit her back. The lady did it again. g tried to hit her again but the lady deflected the swats. The lady then started "flicking" g in the face. She kept doing it even when g started to cry. It upset g so much that aside from crying, she went to the door and started calling for her daddy and then her mommy. The lady did NOTHING to soothe g. She continued singing,laughed then went to the kitchen to get a drink. This went on for more than 20 minutes until g just got tired of crying. I guess she must have realized that no one cared at that point.
I can't really put into words what I felt as I was watching all this unfold. I still can't. I have gone through cycles of emotion. I went from extreme anger to extreme sadness. I calmed down enough to go and get G. He saw the video. I needed a moment to think. I also needed a moment to suppress the desire to come at her with a baseball bat. So we decided to go to dinner, somewhere local. I lost my appetite. I really couldn't focus. I felt bad that as G was excitedly recounting his new internship and the prospect of his new job, all that I could do was replay the scene again and again in my head.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
The elusiveness of sleep
Even at this age (2 years), I am still wondering why sleep is still an issue with g. It is not as hard as the first few months (or year) when I was practically begging g on bended knee to shut her eyes so that I could shut mine. We have gotten into a rhythm and for the most part, she has been able to sleep on her own. We have had the same sleep routine for years now. It consists of a nice warm bath, a few storybooks and some songs. At one point, there was a nighttime bottle which she finally was weaned from at around 18 months. At the earlier points, there was also extensive rocking, shushing and soothing which thankfully stopped after the first few months.
Now although the routine has stayed the same for a while, sometimes she would cry out after the fifth repeat of the Barney/twinkle, twinkle song. Sometimes she would fall asleep immediately after the routine. Then there are other times like tonight that after 2 hours, she is still awake inside our room, keeping herself quite entertained, talking to herself. Last night, she slept pretty easily for the first few hours and awakened at 10:00 pm, stayed awake till 1:00 AM.
What drives me nuts though is that there is no way for us to tell what kind of night this is going to be. Will this be the easy night when she will fall asleep when we put her down? Will this be one of those night when she will cry for 2 minutes and then fall asleep? Or, will it be like tonight when she has been up with no sleep in sight?
I try to tell myself that sleep is one of the states that just could not be forced upon anyone even (or specially) a child. She will sleep when she wants and will remain asleep as long as she wants.
Her being awake though is still jarring to me although I don't really have to do anything with her anymore. It's almost like not being sure if I left the light on inside a parked car. It's quite unsettling. I feel like I should be doing something to facilitate sleep though I am not sure what that should be.
So now I sit here, trying to settle into the night and unwind, while hearing her constant chatter in the room is causing my shoulder to tense up. What can I do? Do shoulder rolls while I patiently wait for the day when I can have a good chardonnay.
Now although the routine has stayed the same for a while, sometimes she would cry out after the fifth repeat of the Barney/twinkle, twinkle song. Sometimes she would fall asleep immediately after the routine. Then there are other times like tonight that after 2 hours, she is still awake inside our room, keeping herself quite entertained, talking to herself. Last night, she slept pretty easily for the first few hours and awakened at 10:00 pm, stayed awake till 1:00 AM.
What drives me nuts though is that there is no way for us to tell what kind of night this is going to be. Will this be the easy night when she will fall asleep when we put her down? Will this be one of those night when she will cry for 2 minutes and then fall asleep? Or, will it be like tonight when she has been up with no sleep in sight?
I try to tell myself that sleep is one of the states that just could not be forced upon anyone even (or specially) a child. She will sleep when she wants and will remain asleep as long as she wants.
Her being awake though is still jarring to me although I don't really have to do anything with her anymore. It's almost like not being sure if I left the light on inside a parked car. It's quite unsettling. I feel like I should be doing something to facilitate sleep though I am not sure what that should be.
So now I sit here, trying to settle into the night and unwind, while hearing her constant chatter in the room is causing my shoulder to tense up. What can I do? Do shoulder rolls while I patiently wait for the day when I can have a good chardonnay.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
A day alone with g
It's mostly alone though. G had to work today. A recap...G quit his job because he found another one. His boss asked him to come in on a Saturday when he finally found someone to replace G. So I spent most of the day caring for g by myself. Not that this has never happened before but because of the nature of G's new job (or jobs depending on how many he actually gets. He will be freelancing.) It's a little difficult for me nowadays because of the weight of the baby. There are also times when g prefers to be carried.
Friday, November 03, 2006
What to do?
g was happily waving goodbye to us this morning as her grandmom started reading her a story about spiders. It was almost a distraction to have to bid farewell when she seems to want to get started on her book. This is a stark contrast to how it is when we leave her with her nanny. Despite the nanny being a presence in our lives for almost 2 months, g still cries 75% of the time when we are about to leave. The other 25% of the time, the nanny bribes her with some food. She would still be whining a little though. I feel guilty everyday that I have to go to work. I felt guilty then with only the suspicion that g is being neglected by our nanny. Now I feel so burdened with guilt.
We showed G's mom that footage yesterday and yes she was very annoyed. She is still hesitant about hiring a non-relative or a stranger to come into our home which is understandable. However I feel that in our current situation I don't think I should tolerate a bad situation indefinitely. I know that some people will say that it may not be quite so bad. I don't quite see it that way. Neglect is not as bad as abuse but that doesn't make it more acceptable.
I guess I am back to the drawing board again in this regard. The other twinge of guilt is having to put the baby into a daycare situation when she would only be about 2 months old.
We showed G's mom that footage yesterday and yes she was very annoyed. She is still hesitant about hiring a non-relative or a stranger to come into our home which is understandable. However I feel that in our current situation I don't think I should tolerate a bad situation indefinitely. I know that some people will say that it may not be quite so bad. I don't quite see it that way. Neglect is not as bad as abuse but that doesn't make it more acceptable.
I guess I am back to the drawing board again in this regard. The other twinge of guilt is having to put the baby into a daycare situation when she would only be about 2 months old.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
So I now know (part 2)
So where did I leave off....
Another oddity I saw was that the nanny ate ALL.THE.TIME. Before you think I am some evil overlord who would refuse her nanny nourishment, what I mean is that there were only small pockets of the day when she is not putting something in her mouth. After breakfast, she started munching on 2 slices of bread. When she was done with that, she started snacking on what looked like dried pumpkin seeds. She was chomping on that for over an hour. Then she prepared lunch and ate lunch with g. After g's nap, she gave g a glass of milk and then started snacking herself for another hour. After her snack, she strapped g onto the her high chair and started making g's dinner. All this snacking and eating doesn't bother per se, what bothers me is that while she is doing this, she never once looked at g or paid any attention.
She is truly more a maid than she is a nanny. G had told her to stop doing the other extra work (cleaning, straightening up, etc) and just take care of g. I didn't think it would make a difference. And it hadn't. She had all but stopped cleaning except for sweeping here and there every so often. Yet the level of care has not improved.
Her impression of engaging a child is throwing the flash cards on the floor while she is snacking beside it. g picks it up and tells her what some cards are when she is around the vicinity.
BAD NEWS The nanny found the camera yesterday. G saw that she was probably moving something and touched the camera. She was staring at it for a while. G doesn't seem to think that she knows what she looking at. I think she does. She might be a little ignorant on some things, but she really LIKES nice things like cell phones, beauty products, etc. She has the new motorola while up until recently G was still using his circa 1990s startac. So I think she knows what a camera looks like and although we had a black tape on the lights, she probably has an inkling that it was on because the tape was partially drawn back.
The good that might come from her discovery is that she might be on her best behavior now that she knows she is being recorded. The bad is that she could potentially just bring g into the bedrooms where we would not be able to see what she is doing.
The true test is tonight's footage. If nothing has changed, then I could say that she doesn't know about the camera.
Another oddity I saw was that the nanny ate ALL.THE.TIME. Before you think I am some evil overlord who would refuse her nanny nourishment, what I mean is that there were only small pockets of the day when she is not putting something in her mouth. After breakfast, she started munching on 2 slices of bread. When she was done with that, she started snacking on what looked like dried pumpkin seeds. She was chomping on that for over an hour. Then she prepared lunch and ate lunch with g. After g's nap, she gave g a glass of milk and then started snacking herself for another hour. After her snack, she strapped g onto the her high chair and started making g's dinner. All this snacking and eating doesn't bother per se, what bothers me is that while she is doing this, she never once looked at g or paid any attention.
She is truly more a maid than she is a nanny. G had told her to stop doing the other extra work (cleaning, straightening up, etc) and just take care of g. I didn't think it would make a difference. And it hadn't. She had all but stopped cleaning except for sweeping here and there every so often. Yet the level of care has not improved.
Her impression of engaging a child is throwing the flash cards on the floor while she is snacking beside it. g picks it up and tells her what some cards are when she is around the vicinity.
BAD NEWS The nanny found the camera yesterday. G saw that she was probably moving something and touched the camera. She was staring at it for a while. G doesn't seem to think that she knows what she looking at. I think she does. She might be a little ignorant on some things, but she really LIKES nice things like cell phones, beauty products, etc. She has the new motorola while up until recently G was still using his circa 1990s startac. So I think she knows what a camera looks like and although we had a black tape on the lights, she probably has an inkling that it was on because the tape was partially drawn back.
The good that might come from her discovery is that she might be on her best behavior now that she knows she is being recorded. The bad is that she could potentially just bring g into the bedrooms where we would not be able to see what she is doing.
The true test is tonight's footage. If nothing has changed, then I could say that she doesn't know about the camera.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
So now I know
G finally got around to installing the "nanny cam" (of course, with the help of L.) It's all setup and ready to go. I think the inagural viewer was K, G's sister. She provided swift report for the hour that she saw on the cam (thanks, K). Yesterday we recorded a whole day's worth of "activities". Frankly I was not surprised at what we found. In fact it was exactly what I had expected. I have told many and I am sure you have heard this issuing forth from my mouth, that I don't think that there is any abuse going on with my nanny. That was never the purpose of the nanny cam. However I had felt that there was a lot of benign neglect going on. The video confirms it.
I watched about 10 hours of video last night (albeit without the sound) Yeah...we are still experiencing technical difficulties. I am also annoyed that I can't login from work because they block that specific port, but that's another topic altogether. Outside of about 25-30 minutes of flash cards and maybe half a book, g played by herself with the nanny in proximity.
I can count (actually even g can count that high) the times that the nanny engage g in actual eye contact. The nanny also has the annoying habit of parking g in her high chair for really long periods of time. We would usualy strap g up when her lunch/dinner/breakfast is cooked, cooled and ready to serve. I have noticed that she straps her up there even before she started started cooking. For lunch yesterday, g was in her high chair for about an hour and a half including eating time. For dinner, it was mercifully shorter only about an hour. By the way, it usually only takes g about 20-30 minutes to eat a meal in its entirety before she gets really bored.
Oh darn....gotta work now. will be back to post more.
I watched about 10 hours of video last night (albeit without the sound) Yeah...we are still experiencing technical difficulties. I am also annoyed that I can't login from work because they block that specific port, but that's another topic altogether. Outside of about 25-30 minutes of flash cards and maybe half a book, g played by herself with the nanny in proximity.
I can count (actually even g can count that high) the times that the nanny engage g in actual eye contact. The nanny also has the annoying habit of parking g in her high chair for really long periods of time. We would usualy strap g up when her lunch/dinner/breakfast is cooked, cooled and ready to serve. I have noticed that she straps her up there even before she started started cooking. For lunch yesterday, g was in her high chair for about an hour and a half including eating time. For dinner, it was mercifully shorter only about an hour. By the way, it usually only takes g about 20-30 minutes to eat a meal in its entirety before she gets really bored.
Oh darn....gotta work now. will be back to post more.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
A funny thing happened during breakfast
Just thought this was so funny and cute but I am sure that g would disagree with me. We were feeding her breakfast. I have cut up some sponge cake aka mamon for the Filipinos following along (i know....you are rolling your eyes, but I assure you that the rest of her meals during the day were filled with fresh veggies and fruit). Anyway, there she was sitting calmly in her booster, eating slivers of sponge coke and drinking her milk while I was getting ready to leave for work. She was smiling and happy this whole time as we were having a "conversation" as we were getting ready. G and the nany were also around the dining table. When all of a sudden, g launched into a blood-curling scream and started crying. I whirled around and saw that she was still sitting in her booster. No, she hadn't fallen off the chair. I checked for bleeding. Nope. I finally figured out that in the act of feeding herself a big piece of cake, she had mistakenly taken a bite out of her finger.
It was such a tragedy for g, but I had to try really hard to not bust out laughing.
It was such a tragedy for g, but I had to try really hard to not bust out laughing.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Bad news for NJ Abbott Program- Info for NJ moms & dads
Taken from NYT today.
October 30, 2006
In New Jersey, System to Help Poorest Schools Faces Criticism
By WINNIE HU
GARFIELD, N.J. — The residents of this tumbledown city of 30,000
routinely voted down school budgets over the years, leaving their
schools so hard up by the early 1990s that broken windows were patched
with cardboard and principals did their own typing because they could
not afford secretaries.
Though school taxes remain relatively low, the 5,000 students in this
city of former woolen mills and soda factories in Bergen County now
enjoy many of the privileges of much wealthier suburban districts:
year-round preschool, modern computer labs and a new $40 million middle
school — all of it paid for by the state of New Jersey.
Garfield is a so-called Abbott school district, one of 31 poor
districts that have received a total of $35 billion in state aid since
1997 as part of an ambitious court-ordered social experiment to narrow
the achievement gap between rich and poor students, whites and
minorities. In a decision that set a precedent for school equality
cases nationwide, the New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that the poorest
urban school districts should be given the resources to spend as much
on their students as the wealthiest suburban districts do.
Now a growing number of New Jersey elected officials, educators and
parents are calling for sweeping changes to this school financing
system, saying that it has wasted millions of taxpayer dollars in the
Abbott districts. For every success story like Garfield, where
fourth-grade test scores have risen to the state average, there are
chronic problems, like those in Newark, Camden and Asbury Park.
Today, the Abbott districts serve 286,500 children in kindergarten
through 12th grade — about 21 percent of the state’s students — but get
$4.2 billion a year in state aid, slightly more than half of all the
state money given to New Jersey’s 616 school districts. The Abbotts are
among the highest-spending school districts in the state, averaging
$14,038 per student compared with $10,509 statewide. The vast majority
of districts that fall between richest and poorest say they are
increasingly bearing the burden of the Abbotts’ getting so much of the
money.
Gov. Jon S. Corzine has made school financing a priority in his
efforts to reduce property taxes, and next month the State Legislature
is expected to propose a new school aid formula that will seek to
distribute aid to all school districts based on their numbers of poor
students, rather than focusing on just 31 districts in what has been
called an all-or-nothing approach. The Abbott districts and their
advocates have vowed to fight any reduction in state aid, signaling
another round of court battles.
In the meantime, state education officials plan to audit all 31 Abbotts
in the next year after finding that the highest-spending districts were
making the fewest gains. Asbury Park spent the most, $18,661 per
student, in the 2004-5 school year. Still, slightly fewer than half the
district’s fourth-grade students were proficient in state language arts
and math tests in 2005. “What we know is lots of money has been spent,
and in some places, there is very little to show,” said Lucille E.
Davy, the education commissioner.
For their part, the Abbott districts have criticized what they see as a
bureaucratic system that undermines local authority and forces them to
adopt programs that they do not need. For instance, Patrick Gagliardi,
the Hoboken superintendent, said that he is required to provide
full-day preschool to every 3- and 4-year-old child in his district,
regardless of income, a mandate that now benefits many affluent
families. “The court intended to help poor people, not the wealthy,” he
said. “Now it’s costing the state more money, and it’s inefficient and
flawed.”
The debate over the Abbott districts has spread outside urban centers
to affluent suburban communities from Ridgewood to Cherry Hill, where
local officials have repeatedly raised taxes and slashed school budgets
to offset their own dwindling share of state aid. Many of them say the
huge amounts of money given to Abbott schools versus non-Abbott schools
has polarized parents and teachers between school districts
“We resent a system that has not provided adequately for our children,”
said Elisabeth Ginsburg, the Board of Education president in Glen
Ridge, where less than 5 percent of the $23.5 million school district
budget is covered by state aid.
Critics often single out Hoboken as an example of an Abbott district
that should no longer be one, since rapid development has drawn
affluent newcomers. Hoboken actually gets far less state aid than other
urban areas because it already spent more on its students than other
Abbotts. Hoboken gets about $12.2 million a year, but as an Abbott, its
plans for a new $25 million high school would be fully subsidized by
the state.
In this year’s budget, state education officials withheld a total of
$23 million from eight Abbott districts, including Garfield, where
property values have risen but local taxes remain relatively low,
forcing them to raise local taxes and shoulder more of their school
costs. Republican lawmakers have also introduced a bill that would
phase out 13 Abbott districts that have thrived economically in recent
years.
“Why should we continue to support them?” asked Assemblyman Joseph R.
Malone III, a former school administrator who has sponsored the bill.
“It’s like saying to somebody who’s on welfare: ‘Stay on welfare and
receive the benefits even if you’re a millionaire now.’ ”
The Abbott districts grew out of a 1981 lawsuit, Abbott v. Burke, which
claimed that the state had failed to remedy disparities between rich
and poor school districts. In a series of decisions spanning two
decades, the state’s highest court relied on an 1875 amendment to the
New Jersey Constitution requiring the Legislature to establish a system
of “thorough and efficient” education for every child. It struck down
the school financing system as unconstitutional in 1990, saying that it
deprived poor urban districts of resources, and ordered lawmakers to
address the problem.
After years of delays, the state court ruled in 1997 that the poorest
urban districts should spend as much on their students as the
wealthiest suburban districts. That exceeded the standard in other
states to simply match the average state spending per student. The
court designated 28 Abbott districts based on a state list of poor
urban communities, and the Legislature added two more districts a year
later. A third, Salem City, was included by lawmakers in 2004 after it
sued to become an Abbott district.
Paul Tractenberg, a professor at Rutgers Law School in Newark who has
advocated on behalf of the Abbotts, said the court ordered the current
school financing system for lack of a better alternative, and largely
left the future designation of Abbott districts to state legislators
and education officials. He supports efforts to come up with a new
school aid formula, saying, “We’re spending the right amount in the
Abbott districts; the problem is we’re not spending enough in the other
poor districts.”
Assemblyman Bill Baroni, a Republican who does not represent an Abbott
district, says that changing the Abbott system is such a politically
divided issue that the Legislature has been generally reluctant to act.
“Every time there is talk of removing a school district,” he said,
“instantly massive political opposition forms in that district.”
But as New Jersey has struggled with fiscal problems, the Abbotts have
come under increasing pressure to justify their high cost. The results
are mixed across districts, but over all, the Abbotts have improved
their test scores, particularly in the lower grades. For instance, 66
percent of Abbott students were proficient in the fourth-grade language
arts test in 2005, compared with 29.5 percent in 1999, but that still
falls below the 85.5 percent of proficient students in non-Abbott
districts. The gap is larger on the math test and among students in
higher grades.
Ellen Frede, co-director of the National Institute for Early Education
Research, said that larger gains would come as Abbott districts built
on their strong preschool programs. In a 2005 report based on testing
in the 15 largest Abbotts, her group found that students were better
prepared for kindergarten. “The overwhelming data is this is a good use
of state taxpayer money,” she said.
But critics of the Abbotts say they have grown impatient with the
problems in some districts. This month, a state fiscal monitor was
appointed to oversee the scandal-ridden Camden district, where the
superintendent, Annette Knox, resigned in June amid investigations into
bonuses that she received. The district spent $15,420 per student in
the 2004-5 school year, though its test scores lag behind the other
Abbott districts.
Bart Leff, a spokesman for the Camden schools, said the district’s
15,500 students are mostly poor minorities who have “significantly more
need for the money” than those in better-off communities. “We are an
urban school district in a poverty-stricken city,” he said.
In contrast, the Abbott money has ushered in major changes in Garfield,
reinvigorating the schools after decades of neglect and decline. In
2005, 79.9 percent of the district’s fourth-grade students were
proficient in the language arts test, just below the statewide average
of 81.2 percent. Garfield students performed even better in math, with
81.8 percent proficient compared with 80.2 percent statewide.
Nearly two-thirds of the district’s $66 million annual budget, or $41.7
million, is covered by state aid; the district has received a total of
$370.7 million since 1997. The rest is raised largely through local
taxes. Though property values have climbed in recent years, school
officials said that many residents are senior citizens and recent
immigrants who can ill afford any increases.
In the past three years, residents have twice rejected the school
budget, including the one for the current school year. Under state law,
Garfield city officials then propose cuts to the budget, but as an
Abbott district, the total budget cannot fall below the previous year’s
spending level. The budget rose by $915,000 this year after state
education officials forced the city to raise taxes.
Nicholas L. Perrapato, the superintendent, said the district has come
to rely on the Abbott money. He said it has allowed them to hire more
teachers, reduce class sizes, and update textbooks and curriculums.
(Second graders now learn PowerPoint.) It has meant that two new
schools could be built — the first in nearly 50 years — and that
students could get a taste of unheard-of luxuries such as teams for
swimming, tennis and volleyball.
“Without the money, we’d be in dire straits,” Mr. Perrapato said. “If
they de-Abbotize us, you’re looking at rolling up the carpets because
the people here would never be able to afford to keep the programs we
have in place.”
October 30, 2006
In New Jersey, System to Help Poorest Schools Faces Criticism
By WINNIE HU
GARFIELD, N.J. — The residents of this tumbledown city of 30,000
routinely voted down school budgets over the years, leaving their
schools so hard up by the early 1990s that broken windows were patched
with cardboard and principals did their own typing because they could
not afford secretaries.
Though school taxes remain relatively low, the 5,000 students in this
city of former woolen mills and soda factories in Bergen County now
enjoy many of the privileges of much wealthier suburban districts:
year-round preschool, modern computer labs and a new $40 million middle
school — all of it paid for by the state of New Jersey.
Garfield is a so-called Abbott school district, one of 31 poor
districts that have received a total of $35 billion in state aid since
1997 as part of an ambitious court-ordered social experiment to narrow
the achievement gap between rich and poor students, whites and
minorities. In a decision that set a precedent for school equality
cases nationwide, the New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that the poorest
urban school districts should be given the resources to spend as much
on their students as the wealthiest suburban districts do.
Now a growing number of New Jersey elected officials, educators and
parents are calling for sweeping changes to this school financing
system, saying that it has wasted millions of taxpayer dollars in the
Abbott districts. For every success story like Garfield, where
fourth-grade test scores have risen to the state average, there are
chronic problems, like those in Newark, Camden and Asbury Park.
Today, the Abbott districts serve 286,500 children in kindergarten
through 12th grade — about 21 percent of the state’s students — but get
$4.2 billion a year in state aid, slightly more than half of all the
state money given to New Jersey’s 616 school districts. The Abbotts are
among the highest-spending school districts in the state, averaging
$14,038 per student compared with $10,509 statewide. The vast majority
of districts that fall between richest and poorest say they are
increasingly bearing the burden of the Abbotts’ getting so much of the
money.
Gov. Jon S. Corzine has made school financing a priority in his
efforts to reduce property taxes, and next month the State Legislature
is expected to propose a new school aid formula that will seek to
distribute aid to all school districts based on their numbers of poor
students, rather than focusing on just 31 districts in what has been
called an all-or-nothing approach. The Abbott districts and their
advocates have vowed to fight any reduction in state aid, signaling
another round of court battles.
In the meantime, state education officials plan to audit all 31 Abbotts
in the next year after finding that the highest-spending districts were
making the fewest gains. Asbury Park spent the most, $18,661 per
student, in the 2004-5 school year. Still, slightly fewer than half the
district’s fourth-grade students were proficient in state language arts
and math tests in 2005. “What we know is lots of money has been spent,
and in some places, there is very little to show,” said Lucille E.
Davy, the education commissioner.
For their part, the Abbott districts have criticized what they see as a
bureaucratic system that undermines local authority and forces them to
adopt programs that they do not need. For instance, Patrick Gagliardi,
the Hoboken superintendent, said that he is required to provide
full-day preschool to every 3- and 4-year-old child in his district,
regardless of income, a mandate that now benefits many affluent
families. “The court intended to help poor people, not the wealthy,” he
said. “Now it’s costing the state more money, and it’s inefficient and
flawed.”
The debate over the Abbott districts has spread outside urban centers
to affluent suburban communities from Ridgewood to Cherry Hill, where
local officials have repeatedly raised taxes and slashed school budgets
to offset their own dwindling share of state aid. Many of them say the
huge amounts of money given to Abbott schools versus non-Abbott schools
has polarized parents and teachers between school districts
“We resent a system that has not provided adequately for our children,”
said Elisabeth Ginsburg, the Board of Education president in Glen
Ridge, where less than 5 percent of the $23.5 million school district
budget is covered by state aid.
Critics often single out Hoboken as an example of an Abbott district
that should no longer be one, since rapid development has drawn
affluent newcomers. Hoboken actually gets far less state aid than other
urban areas because it already spent more on its students than other
Abbotts. Hoboken gets about $12.2 million a year, but as an Abbott, its
plans for a new $25 million high school would be fully subsidized by
the state.
In this year’s budget, state education officials withheld a total of
$23 million from eight Abbott districts, including Garfield, where
property values have risen but local taxes remain relatively low,
forcing them to raise local taxes and shoulder more of their school
costs. Republican lawmakers have also introduced a bill that would
phase out 13 Abbott districts that have thrived economically in recent
years.
“Why should we continue to support them?” asked Assemblyman Joseph R.
Malone III, a former school administrator who has sponsored the bill.
“It’s like saying to somebody who’s on welfare: ‘Stay on welfare and
receive the benefits even if you’re a millionaire now.’ ”
The Abbott districts grew out of a 1981 lawsuit, Abbott v. Burke, which
claimed that the state had failed to remedy disparities between rich
and poor school districts. In a series of decisions spanning two
decades, the state’s highest court relied on an 1875 amendment to the
New Jersey Constitution requiring the Legislature to establish a system
of “thorough and efficient” education for every child. It struck down
the school financing system as unconstitutional in 1990, saying that it
deprived poor urban districts of resources, and ordered lawmakers to
address the problem.
After years of delays, the state court ruled in 1997 that the poorest
urban districts should spend as much on their students as the
wealthiest suburban districts. That exceeded the standard in other
states to simply match the average state spending per student. The
court designated 28 Abbott districts based on a state list of poor
urban communities, and the Legislature added two more districts a year
later. A third, Salem City, was included by lawmakers in 2004 after it
sued to become an Abbott district.
Paul Tractenberg, a professor at Rutgers Law School in Newark who has
advocated on behalf of the Abbotts, said the court ordered the current
school financing system for lack of a better alternative, and largely
left the future designation of Abbott districts to state legislators
and education officials. He supports efforts to come up with a new
school aid formula, saying, “We’re spending the right amount in the
Abbott districts; the problem is we’re not spending enough in the other
poor districts.”
Assemblyman Bill Baroni, a Republican who does not represent an Abbott
district, says that changing the Abbott system is such a politically
divided issue that the Legislature has been generally reluctant to act.
“Every time there is talk of removing a school district,” he said,
“instantly massive political opposition forms in that district.”
But as New Jersey has struggled with fiscal problems, the Abbotts have
come under increasing pressure to justify their high cost. The results
are mixed across districts, but over all, the Abbotts have improved
their test scores, particularly in the lower grades. For instance, 66
percent of Abbott students were proficient in the fourth-grade language
arts test in 2005, compared with 29.5 percent in 1999, but that still
falls below the 85.5 percent of proficient students in non-Abbott
districts. The gap is larger on the math test and among students in
higher grades.
Ellen Frede, co-director of the National Institute for Early Education
Research, said that larger gains would come as Abbott districts built
on their strong preschool programs. In a 2005 report based on testing
in the 15 largest Abbotts, her group found that students were better
prepared for kindergarten. “The overwhelming data is this is a good use
of state taxpayer money,” she said.
But critics of the Abbotts say they have grown impatient with the
problems in some districts. This month, a state fiscal monitor was
appointed to oversee the scandal-ridden Camden district, where the
superintendent, Annette Knox, resigned in June amid investigations into
bonuses that she received. The district spent $15,420 per student in
the 2004-5 school year, though its test scores lag behind the other
Abbott districts.
Bart Leff, a spokesman for the Camden schools, said the district’s
15,500 students are mostly poor minorities who have “significantly more
need for the money” than those in better-off communities. “We are an
urban school district in a poverty-stricken city,” he said.
In contrast, the Abbott money has ushered in major changes in Garfield,
reinvigorating the schools after decades of neglect and decline. In
2005, 79.9 percent of the district’s fourth-grade students were
proficient in the language arts test, just below the statewide average
of 81.2 percent. Garfield students performed even better in math, with
81.8 percent proficient compared with 80.2 percent statewide.
Nearly two-thirds of the district’s $66 million annual budget, or $41.7
million, is covered by state aid; the district has received a total of
$370.7 million since 1997. The rest is raised largely through local
taxes. Though property values have climbed in recent years, school
officials said that many residents are senior citizens and recent
immigrants who can ill afford any increases.
In the past three years, residents have twice rejected the school
budget, including the one for the current school year. Under state law,
Garfield city officials then propose cuts to the budget, but as an
Abbott district, the total budget cannot fall below the previous year’s
spending level. The budget rose by $915,000 this year after state
education officials forced the city to raise taxes.
Nicholas L. Perrapato, the superintendent, said the district has come
to rely on the Abbott money. He said it has allowed them to hire more
teachers, reduce class sizes, and update textbooks and curriculums.
(Second graders now learn PowerPoint.) It has meant that two new
schools could be built — the first in nearly 50 years — and that
students could get a taste of unheard-of luxuries such as teams for
swimming, tennis and volleyball.
“Without the money, we’d be in dire straits,” Mr. Perrapato said. “If
they de-Abbotize us, you’re looking at rolling up the carpets because
the people here would never be able to afford to keep the programs we
have in place.”
Queens County Farm - a fall review
The family C went to Queens County Farm for their annual Childrens' Fall Festival. The website - touted petting zoos, hayrides, pumpkin picking, corn maze, etc. So we thought it would be interesting to check out. Now there is a reason why I chose the title "Fall review" because there is a little bit of a wind gust factor. The wind gusts yesterday in the New York area were reported to be around 35 mph, but we pushed onward.
Haunted House - It looked rather lame so we decided to pass since it was going to be extra 2 dollars a person.
Petting zoo - This, g absolutely loved. Thankfully she is fairly shy about actually touching the animals but she loved running up to the cage and pointing them out. Of course, if the animal moved in her direction, she would run the opposite way back into G's arms. They had a good retinue of farm animals (chickens, cows, calfs, mules, ducks, pigs, piglet, etc) and there were lots of feed for a small price (usually around .25 cents for a handful. They also provided hand sanitizers at almost every animal corral which was a nice and considerate thing for them to have around.
pumpkin picking OK...I am going to say that this was really horrible and pathetic, but I will let them slide a little on this. It is the end of the season .... but still. Pumpkin picking is comprised of an open field where random pumpkins are strewn about in no particular order, getting trampled and picked on by stray animals. There is no patch or plant anywhere in the field. There were a couple of large pumpkins that have been set up in such a way to enable parents (like myself) to get some choice fall shots of their kids. Pumpkins can be "picked" from a bin and paid for based on their sizes.
Corn Maze Didn't do this either because the wind gust had picked up at just that time and we thought that g wouldn't enjoy it much anyway.
BONUS Features Since it was meant to be a childrens' festival, they brought in the life-sized characters like Elmo, Dora, Barney and SpongeBob. The other kids loved running up to them and taking pictures. Poor g (who would insist on listening to the Barney opening theme a million times while we are driving anywhere) freaked out when G was trying to get her out of the backpack. She wouldn't go near him at all. Same thing with Dora. From afar, she would point Dora out, say hello and blow kisses. Again, when G attempted to bring her closer, she buried her face in his neck. Oh well... Another cool "bonus" is that g and I had our first taste of a gyro and it was pretty good. g couldn't get her mouth around the chicken that was in it, but enjoyed the pita, yogurt sauce and lettuce.
All in all, I thought the experience was a good one. We might come back in the summer, but I think there might be better places in NJ for stuff like this. It's a great find for New Yorkers or Queens folks because it was a relatively short drive (~45 minutes from JC WITH traffic). It's a taste of farm life right in the middle of city.
Monday, October 23, 2006
g's second birthday
This is a belated post on little g's birthday. We had a small party at our house complete with cake.
It turned out to be a great day. g enjoyed herself. She had her first slice of cake ever and I think she is definitely hooked. She probably had 3 slices that day. I did try to scrape off as much of the icing as possible. Thankfully, the chinatown cakes are considerably lighter than anything that could be bought elsewhere. Even the icing didn't feel too rich at all.
g actually attempted to blow out her Elmo birthday candle. In the end, she needed some assistance from her dad.
It's hard to believe that it has been 2 years.
It turned out to be a great day. g enjoyed herself. She had her first slice of cake ever and I think she is definitely hooked. She probably had 3 slices that day. I did try to scrape off as much of the icing as possible. Thankfully, the chinatown cakes are considerably lighter than anything that could be bought elsewhere. Even the icing didn't feel too rich at all.
g actually attempted to blow out her Elmo birthday candle. In the end, she needed some assistance from her dad.
It's hard to believe that it has been 2 years.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
An afternoon of play after a trauma
Here's g, not looking too worst for the wear after her first visit to the dentist. It was as bad as I thought it would go. I found a pediatric dentist specifically because I thought it be better because they would have the most experience with kids. Our dentist came highly recommended.
They took g in while G went looking for food. The 2 dental hygienist placed g in a too-big exam. It was basically an adult-sized chair. Not a big deal. The first DH (dental hygienist) asked g to open her mouth. I knew that wouldn't work for g. So when asking nicely didn't work, she put g in a headlock while the other DH held g's body down. I was tasked with holding her legs steady. With all 3 of us working together, g still managed to squirm loose many, many times.
Mercifully they only buffed her teeth and brushed it. It probably took less than 5 minutes with the dentist watching behind them. It of course felt more like 30 minutes.
After the cleaning, the dentist stepped in and did a quick exam, counting her teeth and writing a prescription for a vitamin with fluoride. We were then given directions to brush g's teeth twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste and follow that up with a gauze rub.
G arrived just as the dentist was giving directions. Seeing her "protector", g leapt out of my arms into her daddy's. He missed it all.
As you can see, she doesn't seem to be too traumatized by her experience.
A click must have occurred
We have been trying to teach g numbers, colors and alphabet in the last few weeks. Actually we have been trying to teach her colors for a WHILE now but it doesn't seem to be something she grasped. Often she would call things a certain color and it is usually right but when pressed with the same object, she will change her mind and assign another color. That sounded more like guesswork to me. Oh well... I figured she is probably going to be a late bloomer.
Today while she was reading her brown bear book, she recited all the different colored animals by the correct names. Now that could be repetition but who knows...right? OK, so I won't be dialing Mensa anytime soon, but I think she has turned a corner in her language and cognitive skills. It is really gratifying to see that all that reading to her is finally clicking.
She is definitely getting better with her Cantonese. She is actually speaking more in Cantonese although she still sounds like me trying to speak Cantonese (which is pretty horrendous actually). Well, at least she is usually understood now when she speaks in Cantonese.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
New York Downtown Hospitals - a review
I know it seems pretty odd to be reviewing a hospital but I need to vent.
A little history
I delivered g at New York Presbyterian and had a great experience. My OB was excellent albeit he quit at my 7th month of pregnancy. My OB after that was the head of the department. He was thorough and competent but our personalities just didn't click. The hospital was massive and clean. They had a team of lactation consultants on site that ran classes on breastfeeding and childcare 2 or 3 times a day during the weekday. They also have a continuing education center for anyone with breastfeeding problems later on. The labor and delivery rooms were clean and big. The postpartum rooms were nice and had a shower in each room.
CONS - Since it is pretty popular practice, it is really hard to get an appt. When I did get an appointment, I am usually waiting for at least 20 minutes before I am even seen by the doctor. The location was also at the other end of the universe for me. At the time, I worked in midtown west. The hospital is located at eastern most end of Manhattan uptown. It took me about 20 minute to get there, calculating the office wait time of 20 minutes, the actual visit, etc. Every doctor visit entailed me taking half the day off.
So this time around, I thought practicality should rule the day. I now work downtown and would have to travel close to an hour if I were to go to the Upper East side. It didn't make much sense especially in the latter part of the pregnancy when I would have to visit the doctor weekly. I chose New York Downtown Hospital.
here goes...
The doctor - Not that I ever thought that my old doctor would be awake all night thinking about me, but my current doctor seem to really only care about getting me out of there asap. She does the bare minimum of care and gets me out of there. To this day, she has not decided when my actual due date will be. (I have decided it'll be 11/25 which is one of the dates that are in contention)
I have had a grand total of 2 ultrasounds since I got pregnant. With old doctor, I had one everytime I showed up.
The hospital - can I just say UGHHH!!! or YUCKS!!! That probably sums it up. I had a "hospital tour" and it lasted about 10 minutes. L&D rooms were ok until the nurse told me that sometimes when they are busy, they would "double-up". HUH?!!! Yes, they would wheel in another bed to have another woman labor beside me. I know non-moms would wonder...what's the big deal? Think of the worst (and most painful) constipation you will ever have in your life and having a share the bathroom with another person who is having the worst constipation of her life.
The rooms are dark and dingy. The whole wing looked dingy. It was a throwback to the 70s which is probably the last time anyone put a fresh layer of paint on this place. The rooms were also really small and there is one communal shower to be shared by all. GREAT!
(deep breath) I know this event is only a small part of my baby's life and will quickly be forgotten. For those who are considering a hospital in NYC, keep this post in mind.
A little history
I delivered g at New York Presbyterian and had a great experience. My OB was excellent albeit he quit at my 7th month of pregnancy. My OB after that was the head of the department. He was thorough and competent but our personalities just didn't click. The hospital was massive and clean. They had a team of lactation consultants on site that ran classes on breastfeeding and childcare 2 or 3 times a day during the weekday. They also have a continuing education center for anyone with breastfeeding problems later on. The labor and delivery rooms were clean and big. The postpartum rooms were nice and had a shower in each room.
CONS - Since it is pretty popular practice, it is really hard to get an appt. When I did get an appointment, I am usually waiting for at least 20 minutes before I am even seen by the doctor. The location was also at the other end of the universe for me. At the time, I worked in midtown west. The hospital is located at eastern most end of Manhattan uptown. It took me about 20 minute to get there, calculating the office wait time of 20 minutes, the actual visit, etc. Every doctor visit entailed me taking half the day off.
So this time around, I thought practicality should rule the day. I now work downtown and would have to travel close to an hour if I were to go to the Upper East side. It didn't make much sense especially in the latter part of the pregnancy when I would have to visit the doctor weekly. I chose New York Downtown Hospital.
here goes...
The doctor - Not that I ever thought that my old doctor would be awake all night thinking about me, but my current doctor seem to really only care about getting me out of there asap. She does the bare minimum of care and gets me out of there. To this day, she has not decided when my actual due date will be. (I have decided it'll be 11/25 which is one of the dates that are in contention)
I have had a grand total of 2 ultrasounds since I got pregnant. With old doctor, I had one everytime I showed up.
The hospital - can I just say UGHHH!!! or YUCKS!!! That probably sums it up. I had a "hospital tour" and it lasted about 10 minutes. L&D rooms were ok until the nurse told me that sometimes when they are busy, they would "double-up". HUH?!!! Yes, they would wheel in another bed to have another woman labor beside me. I know non-moms would wonder...what's the big deal? Think of the worst (and most painful) constipation you will ever have in your life and having a share the bathroom with another person who is having the worst constipation of her life.
The rooms are dark and dingy. The whole wing looked dingy. It was a throwback to the 70s which is probably the last time anyone put a fresh layer of paint on this place. The rooms were also really small and there is one communal shower to be shared by all. GREAT!
(deep breath) I know this event is only a small part of my baby's life and will quickly be forgotten. For those who are considering a hospital in NYC, keep this post in mind.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Nanny rant (part deux)
It's been 3 weeks since our nanny arrived. It hasn't been smooth sailing. I guess the quick update would be that there isn't much change. Last week, G's mom arrived for a "surprise" visit. When she arrived, of course, g gravitated towards her immediately but something was off according to her. G told me that his mom felt that g had no connection with her. She said that usually when g felt like dancing, she would round up all the people in the house at the time and do a round of "ring around the rosie". g did her little dance, dragging G's mom with her but didn't bother bringing the nanny in. When G's mom arrived, the nanny just started to busy herself with things to do around the house, cleaning, gardening, etc.
Routinely we have just found that the nanny really prefers housework over dealing with g which is sad since that is what she is really there for primarily. However I am trying a new approach this week. Since I have had such a negative perception of her approach to childcare, maybe she has felt this. Maybe g feels this. I have noticed that g is more whiney when she is around. I understand how annoying it could be to care for a child who whines all the time, so maybe it could be it. It's hard to figure out which came first (the attitude or the behavior.)
So for the week, I am going to try to suspend my negativity and try to find constructive ways for her to become more engage with g. We have worked out one thing already last night with regards to her feeding g when G & I are around. Hopefully, a little positivity is all that is needed.
Routinely we have just found that the nanny really prefers housework over dealing with g which is sad since that is what she is really there for primarily. However I am trying a new approach this week. Since I have had such a negative perception of her approach to childcare, maybe she has felt this. Maybe g feels this. I have noticed that g is more whiney when she is around. I understand how annoying it could be to care for a child who whines all the time, so maybe it could be it. It's hard to figure out which came first (the attitude or the behavior.)
So for the week, I am going to try to suspend my negativity and try to find constructive ways for her to become more engage with g. We have worked out one thing already last night with regards to her feeding g when G & I are around. Hopefully, a little positivity is all that is needed.
Monday, September 25, 2006
What would you do?
ThefamilyC did a mall trip last Sunday to pick up some shoes for the winter. Of course, being the dolt that I am, I forgot to check out the fact that the mall does not open till 11:00 AM on a Sunday. Thankfully there was a small play area in the mall for kids that was nice and cushioned. It was also fairly abandoned since it was only 10:00 AM (no wonder there were no cars...hmm...that should have been a hint.)
g was playing around. First on the slide. She was really intimidated by all the bigger boys playing the area. Thankfully the 2 brothers on the slide made it a point to avoid where she was. And after some prodding, g was climbing up and sliding down by herself. After a bit of this, she decided to head for the turtle. It's a cushioned turtle status. It looks like something that the kids could ride on which is exactly what g did. Before that though, she called G over with her signature "C'm 'ere" (ie Come Here). So G sat beside her as she straddled the turtle's neck. Meanwhile more kids started to appear. It wasn't overrun yet, but there were probably around 10 kids now. Suddenly this Chinese kid (~4-5 years old) ran up to the turtle and pushed g down. I saw everything happen and was so shocked. I didn't expect him to push her off. I thought that maybe he was just going to climb up behind her. Both G and g were shocked. Thankfully G was there to catch her because she would have fallen to the ground (padded) if he hadn't.
To their credit, the parents of the boy immediately ran up to the boy and gave him a talking-to. But I was still stunned. What should I have done? g was hysterical. So we just decided to leave the play area since g obviously didn't want to be there anymore. Was there something that I should have done differently?
g was playing around. First on the slide. She was really intimidated by all the bigger boys playing the area. Thankfully the 2 brothers on the slide made it a point to avoid where she was. And after some prodding, g was climbing up and sliding down by herself. After a bit of this, she decided to head for the turtle. It's a cushioned turtle status. It looks like something that the kids could ride on which is exactly what g did. Before that though, she called G over with her signature "C'm 'ere" (ie Come Here). So G sat beside her as she straddled the turtle's neck. Meanwhile more kids started to appear. It wasn't overrun yet, but there were probably around 10 kids now. Suddenly this Chinese kid (~4-5 years old) ran up to the turtle and pushed g down. I saw everything happen and was so shocked. I didn't expect him to push her off. I thought that maybe he was just going to climb up behind her. Both G and g were shocked. Thankfully G was there to catch her because she would have fallen to the ground (padded) if he hadn't.
To their credit, the parents of the boy immediately ran up to the boy and gave him a talking-to. But I was still stunned. What should I have done? g was hysterical. So we just decided to leave the play area since g obviously didn't want to be there anymore. Was there something that I should have done differently?
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
More random pictures from Vermont
g trying out the bed with G
g amidst wildflowers
g swatting flowers
water....
How is this supposed to work?
Testing out her sea legs or in this case lake legs....our cruise on Lake Champlain
the first "sisters" portrait
g amidst wildflowers
g swatting flowers
water....
How is this supposed to work?
Testing out her sea legs or in this case lake legs....our cruise on Lake Champlain
the first "sisters" portrait
Vermont
The familyC visit Vermont last weekend for some much needed r&r. We stayed at the Basin Harbor club with the H family. g had fun playing with Y. I think though she still does not know what to make of him. g is definitely improving in her ability to deal with other kids. She shared her toy once or twice during the weekend although that progress could be nullified by the fact that she did also at one point pushed him away. Oh well, there will be no choice soon but to adjust to a new sibling, like it or not.
It was a very relaxed weekend. We went hiking and ended up in someone's backyard. That was kind of strange for residences to be setup so close to a state park trail. It was literally less than a few paces away from the trail that we were on. The owner was very gracious about it though. She very kindly asked us to get ourselves off her property. She even took the time to give us good directions. To top it off, she went to the resort management and told them that the map they provided their guest is horrible. So horrible that we were not the only ones that wandered onto her property that day.
We had dinner at a town called Middlebury and saw this....
Take heart though... the Real estate office is actually beside the Holy Cow store although from afar, it does look like the Holy Cow Real Estate doesn't it.
All in all, it was good fun. Relaxing but a long drive.
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