a near perfect shot

A near perfect shot, if only s didn't look so startled.

There have been moments in the last few weeks when I finally begin to feel that there might be a chance for some sisterly love. There was a time when g would actually share her toy without being told or when s would willingly give something up to her sister. We're a long way from there.

Little Lady

I am so thrilled I actually got a reasonably good shot of her in a dress. This is little s.

smilin' s

Smile!!!

Songs to remember

It's G again. I've been meaning to post this info for a while but I keep forgetting whenever I'm in front of a computer. For a while now I've been singing songs to put both s and g to sleep.

For g, of all the songs I sang to her she seemed to settle down on just two. And I've been singing these to her for over the last year now.
- Under the Boardwalk by the Drifters
- Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude by Jimmy Buffett

For s, since she has no say, I just arbitrarily chose a couple of songs to sing to her while I initiate her sleep routine. Somewhere around 6 months ago as she was about 1, I started singing her these songs.
- My Way by Frank Sinatra
- Carolina in My Mind by James Taylor

Maybe when s gets older she'll protest and ask me to sing more modern songs. But for anyone looking for song suggestions for their kids, you should consider the above.

ahead or behind?

This post can be subtitled as "using sibling as a benchmark". I guess it is inevitable.

I have never thought that g was precocious. She was always such a responsive little kid. She liked flashcards and being read to. Though s really liked being read to as well. she thinks flash cards are a form of big confetti that were meant to be strewn about.

At this age (17 months), g knew how to put on her socks, spoke more than 20 words pretty clearly and "reads" to herself. One very clear memory I had of her was one early morning on a Saturday. She had awakened and I wasn't ready to be awake yet. So I took her out of her crib and just allowed her to roam around our bedroom. She typically picks up a book or climbs around the bed. On that day, she took her polar bear book and read loudly to herself. It was so cute. It came out as "po bear, po bear, wat you 'ear?" (translation: polar bear, polar bear, what do you hear?). My favorite is when she got to the part about the bo-sicker (translation: boa constrictor).

Little s seems content to have her small collection of sounds. Though a quick check of developmental milestone chart revealed she is even a little ahead of schedule on everything, it is hard for me to not expect her to be at the same level as her sister at this age.

I have to keep reminding myself that they are different. That they are unique and as such will take their own paths.

World Autism Day

For something that has become so pervasive, autism is still a mystery and deeply misunderstood. I thought I was so well-informed and can even rattle off the telltale signs of this disease, but not until I saw this documentary on HBO did I realize that I didn't know as much as I think. The title of the movie, Autism the Musical, seems like an oxymoron but it truly is not. From this movie, I learned that autism is a broad spectrum of disorders. I was most struck by a little boy named Wyatt. He speaks clearly and with such maturity. He makes eye contact and can communicate effectively. He laughs and has feelings. He is not what I thought autism was.



So I am here to say that as a mom, you have to go out and learn more about this disorder. CNN has been running special articles and features all week. One of them was written by a CNN staffer who was recently diagnosed at 48 years old as having Asperger's. More stories can be found here .

all grown up

Philippines 2008 photo

The picture makes my little girl look so grown-up. If it were not for her height in reference to the window, I would have thought that it was someone else.

Little Pea - the book

I am really loving this book. The illustration is so whimsical.

It is the story of Little Pea who lives a fabulous life except for nightly dinner. He is "forced" to eat candy for dinner. He has to finish all his dinner before a yummy dessert of spinach.

Kai Lan - hmmmm

Personally, the jury is still out on Kai Lan. Now who is she? Why, she's the Chinese Dora and g's new love.



I found her purely by accident one morning and I was struck that she was using some mandarin words. So I allowed little g to watch. s showed some enthusiasm for it as well. Thus far, I don't find it her annoying yet. (That qualifies as a "good" rating as far as kiddie shows are concerned). I like that she pronounces the Chinese words properly rather than it being Anglicized (though depending on the context, pronunciation of her name is typically Anglicized which makes the "lan" in Kai Lan sound like land without the ending d sound.

I do find it odd though that she seems to only live with her grandfather. Where's her parents (maybe working in the city)?

Another request for improvement is the musical quality of the show. They use the same melody for every song in every episode. At times, it is obvious that they are just trying to get the words to fit the number of notes.

On the whole, I like Kai Lan. g is besotted. I reminded g that she was Wai Lan (her chinese name). After that little tidbit, I tied her hair up "kai lan" style and tuned in to an episode where Rintoo once again has a tantrum, quite a temperamental tiger he is.

For more Kai Lan info, there's this NYTIMES article.

There's also a mess of them already on YouTube.

cousins

This one is for little g. She misses her di-chi and an-ya (it's supposed to be ah-hia - big brother). She found her old elmo birthday candle yesterday, so we got to talking about her birthday party. This is months away but she plans these things with the same immediacy as this weekend. I asked her who she would want to invite. The first people she mentioned was her di-chi and an-ya. She hasn't really mentioned them in the last 2 weeks.

That seems to be her way. She may not say much at time but she seems to absorb all this information.

What would you do?

This is a continuation of the "mean" discussion that is currently going on in my head.

I have read this article and saw a feature on CNN about this kid. It is a story about the horrors of bullying. This kid has been a target for a few years with his bullies (yes, plural is intentional here) even putting up a MySpace page devoted to the "cause". This seems really extreme. <>

What would I do if I were Billy Wolfe's mom (that will not land me in jail)?

Though there were suggestions all over blogsphere that the mom should just pull the kid out of school, which I admit would be my course of action, there is an implicit defeat in that move. What would she then be communicating to her son? What is the message she's sending to administration and teachers who don't seem to want to do anything?

What would you do?

In Billy's case, his mom filed a lawsuit against the creators of the MySpace page.

Phthalates in J&J products

There's been a whole flurry about Phthalates (pronounced as thowl-ates) in the last few months. A study has found in elevated levels in the urine of babies who'd been recently shampooed, powdered or lotioned with baby products. Read more here.

Someone in one of my mommy groups actually wrote J&J and got this response. It was a thorough response but not exactly a very reassuring one. I am posting the response here.

Thank you for contacting the Johnson & Johnson Consumer Companies,
Inc. Information Center. It is always important to hear from our
consumers, and we appreciate the time you have taken to contact us.

Johnson & Johnson Consumer Companies would like to reassure parents
that their children's safety is our utmost priority. For more than
100 years, we have been known as a trusted health care partner, and
we value highly the trust that parents place in us.

Phthalates are a large family of compounds used in a wide variety of
everyday products.
Johnson & Johnson Consumer Companies uses only one of the many
phthalates-diethylphthalate (DEP) -in some of its personal care
products as a component of fragrance preparations. Both the Cosmetic
Ingredient Review (CIR) Expert Panel, an independent, nonprofit panel
of scientists and physicians who assess the safety of personal care
product ingredients in the U.S., and the Scientific Committee on
Consumer Products (SCCP), the body that advises the European Union
Commission on safety matters related to cosmetics, have determined
DEP to be safe as used. DEP has been extensively researched and is
not linked to reproductive toxicity or endocrine disruption.

The study in the journal Pediatrics references seven phthalate
compounds, yet only DEP is used in baby care products. This suggests
that most of the phthalates found in the urine samples came from
another route of exposure. The researchers for this study did not
test baby care products for the presence of phthalates or control for
other possible routes of exposure.

Again, thank you for your interest in our company. Should you have
any comments or questions in the future, please contact us via our
website or by calling our toll-free number, 1-888-638-5242. Our
specialists are available Monday through Friday between 8 AM and 5 PM
EST and will be happy to assist you.

how to deal with "mean"

This happened quite a few months back but I still remember it and it still saddens me.

We went to a costume party. There were other kids there (2 boys and a girl). g had never met them before but she seemed willing to try since they seems to be having so much fun running around. As usual she proceeded cautiously, sort of running close to the group but not really with the group. Then a little closer and then closer. I stood nearby talking to the parents of the kids. The two boys were brothers and the girl was a friend of theirs.

As g was finally within touching distance from the group, the girl loudly declared to "her" group, "let's not play with her. " The "her" was little g. I was so crushed. Yes, I was crushed by a 3 year old's comment. I looked around to the parents. I didn't think they heard her because they were in the midst of conversation. (Now that statement does not begin to approach the textbook definition of mean but she was referring to MY BABY!!!!)

Though this seems to be one of those things that every child has to learn to deal with, I can't help the impulse to give that kid a good talking-to.

Thankfully, I don't think g heard.

I wonder though what I would do or say when the day comes when she will hear a comment like that.

Shyness - nature or nurture?

This is a surprise. I have seen it for a while but I am still amazed at how shy little g is. At home, she is a rambunctious, playful and all-around nutty little girl. Outside and in public (this could be a "public" of one other person, she retreats into her little shell. This was something that was apparent since her first birthday. At the time I had thought that maybe in time she will just grow out of it. She has not.

It is most evident when we take her to her gym for a regularly scheduled class. She has been coming to this same location for the last year and a half. Granted that in that time, she has been through many classes and many different instructors, but on a whole, she sees the same people.

Every week without fail, when we bring her to the class, she will spend the first 10-20 minute clutching my or her dad's leg. She will insist that we sit beside her in the classroom. This also happened with her dance class last year but she grew out of it when two-thirds of her semester was over. So I thought that since she sort of "got over it" that last time, this time will be cinch. Not so.

I have done everything I have thought of to gently nurture a more independent spirit but she still remains really closed and slow-to-trust.

How does a parent encourage a more forward child?

Summer is coming

OK...I admit that I am being a little hopeful here given the cold wet weather today, but I am beginning to look forward to warmer times.

So I am once again collecting things to do nearby and places to see a little farther out.

For those interested in indoor pools (while it is still a little chilly out), Manhattan has a cool assortment of indoor pools that fit the bill. I found this article in the NY Magazine site with surprising locations for indoor pools all over the city.

Now when the heat finally arrives but the family prefers a quick jaunt into the city rather than a lengthy trip to the beaches, this article lists the best outdoor pools around town.

I have to dig around now for some jersey equivalents.

The Solo Flight

Last Saturday, in a fit of bravery, I decided that since G was still sound asleep, I would take the kids out alone. I think this is the first ever substantial outing of its kind. I might have taken them out on a short walk or maybe a drive to our local Targay but this time we went to the MALL.

It was a spur of the moment decision really and was not meant to have monumental implications. As all things monumental, it started with a relatively small idea. Typically our Saturday morning consists of waiting for G to wake up. This Saturday, the sun was shining and I was so over this winter-freezing thing. So I thought, "how about a jaunt to Targay?" g was amenable. She likes going there. s just liked being out. I checked the time and realize that if I had gone out that very minute, I would not make it back to prepare lunch. Well, then we'll have lunch there. Seems reasonable.

I packed some diapers and juices. In my walk to the car, I realized that Target was pretty horrible as far as food choices. The thought of having to pack the kids back in the car to go to another place for food really tired me out.

I decided on the mall. It turned out to be brilliant. I went there early in the morning before the typically mall rats would get there. We walked around and window shopped mainly. We ate at the food court. Lastly we checked out the pet store. the kids loved looking at animals though s seemed really nervous about getting up close to it.

So it is brand new day. I am excited that it actually opens up Saturday mornings for short field trips (other than the mall). Anyone want to playdate?

What Makes Finnish Kids So Smart?

Wall Street Journal Article here.

Greetings from the Philippines

 

an s update

s new stats:

@14 months
weight - 19.1 lbs - around 10th percentile
height - 29.13 inches - around 25th percentile
head - 18.11 inches - around 50th percentile

I should stop obsessing about s's weight. I thought that if she gained a little in percentile that I could finally let it go. It's hard, very hard. Well, for one, she didn't gain in percentile. She is a little below 10th percentile which she once was. However she did gain everywhere else. I got upset with her this morning because of food and intake.

I looked online today and found this Nutritional Guide for Toddlers where they listed a standard portion size for 1 year olds. I discovered something that I probably subconsciously knew....that g is the ODD one. Based on this guide, s has been eating more than what is required. I have just been so used to g eating her adult-sized portions that I felt that s was always starving when she probably wasn't.

Though it is true that she is more picky than her sister was, she is not as picky as some of the horror stories I have read online. s loves flavorful foods. She does not like bland, but if she's hungry she will eat a minimum amount of food in order to satiate herself and then she'll start to reject. However if it is something she likes, she will definitely eat more and be easier to feed.

Armed with this new knowledge, I will try harder to let this go PERIOD For the record, the pediatrician has never expressed a concern, has not recommended that we start replacing milk with ice cream or anything like that. I am just going off the deep end about this rather than letting her be herself. The stress of this is probably not helping her feel excited about meal times.

I guess that is the price of being second born, there's more to live up to.

Updates...Now reading this article makes me feel extremely guilty about literally trying to shove food into her mouth.

Going Light Green

I know I am joining the green "revolution" rather late but I have always been reticent about joining in what is being touted as a "big deal" (or at least I try to be .... see post on bisphenol bottles). Anyway the past is the past. Now I am trying to figure out ways to go green without a complete overhaul. Thus light green.

Some thoughts for those who want to go "light green"
1. Avoid buying individual containers of anything (ie juice boxes) Buy a safe plastic sippy or a stainless steel option and just refill. This will save money as well since you "pay" more for individual packaging.
2. Cut down on paper napkins. Apparently doing this will save a whole bunch of trees, even if you cut down your consumption by one napkin a day. I have decided to use washcloths as napkins for the kiddies. It actually is gentler on their faces. Just dampen and clean that ketchup stain off their little chin.
3. Saving "graywater" for reuse. This is a cheapskate thing that I have been doing for a few months now. Since the kiddies have fallen in love with baths, I have been saving the bath water to use to flush the toilet. The combined amount is almost enough that we don't have to use the flush mechanism on the toilet.
4. There's the obvious "use compact fluorescent bulbs"
5. For my daily x cups of coffee, I still use a paper cup because no "normal" mug will fit under our office machine. I have made an effort though to reuse the same cup for the whole day rather than getting a fresh one each time.
6. When I do the wash, I wash everything in cold water. One good side effect - less shrinkage.


Some things that I am not ready to try yet:
1. Unplugging all electronics that are not in use. I would just hate losing all the clock times and the settings. Though I do unplug chargers.
2. Using a cloth (non-plastic) grocery bag. I need those grocery bags for my garbage. So I guess I do recycle them.
3. Signing up for Greendimes For a $20 fee, this service will stop 70-90% of the junk mail that comes into your homes. I have heard about this but have not been able to find any other reviews of it. So I am skeptical.

Of course, for more ideas on green living, there's treehugger

Any more tips are welcome.