Thursday, January 18, 2007

Now what do I do?

Well, it's official. s has gotten much much worst. For the last 3 nights, she does a good job of sleeping early in the evening, but around the 2-6 AM hours, she can only sleep if she stays in my arms. I have tried it all now, it seems. I have swaddled tight, swaddled loosely, swung, shushed, white noise, putting rolled up blankets on either side of her, kept her warm, kept her cool, co-slept, burped her, suctioned her nose, massaged her belly ad nauseum. There doesn't seem to be anything that I can do to make her sleep a little better.

The only thing that seems to consistently works for her to for me to nurse her. She would then fall asleep in my arms. I am then not to move so that she can remain asleep. If I tried to put her down, she would be awake within minutes.

Now what do I do?


The He Family Blog said...

Is that the result of the good use of the sling? I wonder. Older cousins kept telling me that if I choose to hold the baby all the time, then the baby will get use to it and I won't be able to put her down. Mmm . . . It must be hard to tolerate s's crying when she is only two months, and it's too early to let her cry it out. Did you try the pacifier? Even if it doesn't work the first time, it will work after a while. It will help the baby soothe itself. If you are not getting any sleep, it may be worth worrying about weening the pacifier later. Ethan only uses it when he sleeps and he has enough sense to know that.


theFamilyC said...

That is a very common thought, "hold the baby too much and they will get used to it." "They'll be spoiled." It's very hard to tell the effects of anything that ones does as a parent in these early days on how the child will be the future. It is very hard to say that sling use is the definite cause s to be more clingy. Or was it breastfeeding on demand? Or maybe it was natural childbirth? My point is that there is no way to isolate one particular aspect of the whole babyrearing experience as the cause for a behavior.

For what it's worth...s wasn't "slung" as much as g was. g LOVED the sling.

jac said...

Babies are really full of wonders. We have to do everything to pacify them and each one has their differenceS. I guess, the only suggestion that I can think of, since your nursing her and she's calmed with your warmth, why not try nursing her lying down, while both of you down. It's hard to figure it out the first time and might as well get neck stiffness but for sure, when you get the hang of it, you'll both feel so much relieved and rested. It's usually good if you do it when you'll sleep nighttime so both of you can rest. If you feel that she stopped sucking, then you can position the normal, then nurse again if she move or start crying. Sorry na lang kay George.

Honestly, that's the best position I've experienced with nursing. Just a reminder, its best to do that NOT in a soft bed.

If you're worried on how to handle s while your out coz your thinking that she might has gotten used to it, I dont think its not much of a worry coz she has nanny to look after her and do a little shake or cuddle her when she cries. As far as I know, babies at this age sleep more often than play.

I'll be waiting for a response if my suggestion worked. Everybody here is worried of the bad times you've been going through.

jac said...

Tips on how to do it successfully:
1) Make sure you have a higher pillow for yourself so you wont have neck stiffness in the morning.
2) Put a long round pillow on her back so s is facing you. Babies have the tendency to move. With the pillow on her back, even if she moves, at least you can still reach her while nursing. Be sure the pillow is not very light so she cannot kick it off. The pillow can be probably as long as her or slightly longer than her so you can still use it when she gets a little bigger.
3) You can put a pillow at your back also so you wont feel "ngawit."

a's mommy said...

I'm not sure whether or not you are a fan of attachment parenting, but I have found some good advice on There is an extensive section on sleep problems and how parents can help pacify a baby to sleep, especially one that is breastfed. At times it is quite a challenge, and it seems that a breastfed baby takes a while longer to finally sleep thru the night than a formula fed one. I guess that is one of the sacrifices associated with breastfeeding, and I can definitely relate.

Sometimes the night nursing and cuddling is a baby's way of communicating that she needs that special closeness from her mommy. I have read that this actually helps in the baby's emotional development. Maybe you could hold s for a few minutes longer until she is in deep sleep after she nurses in the middle of the night or have her lay next to you and then move her to the crib? Or is she easily roused when moved? Maybe you can let her sleep next to you in bed?

Have you tried signing in a sleepy monotone voice and patting her bottom lightly? This seemed to work a lot for "a". In the early months, hubby would put "a" in his crib and sing Billy Joel's Lullabye "Goodnight, My Angel" to "a". He would often substitute words with stories about "a" since it would take several minutes for "a" to fall asleep. But he would sing on and on in a soft deep voice until "a" passed out, and oftentimes I would fall asleep too. Maybe s can be comforted by singing or humming or maybe play a lullabye CD for babies in the background with soft comforting music?

KM said...

Is s on the bottle yet? Since you're going back to work, I assume you'll have to get her used to it soon, if not already. When AM was that age, I used to desperately seek advice on his poor sleeping habits. Most of the time, formula fed babies slept through the night much earlier than breastfed babies. We tried everything from co-sleeping (which worked out great especially after I went back to work) to giving him a big bottle of formula at night (formula is more filling), to keeping him up during the day (tire him out - this didn't work). I wasn't worried about the long term effects of co-sleeping, I just needed my sleep so I can function at work. I nursed AM when he woke up and he'll go back to sleep immediately...interrupted sleep was much better than sleep deprivation for me at the time. The other thing worked was the night time formula. It helped because he did sleep longer stretches. PM was completely formula fed as a baby, and he turned out ok.

Let us know when s turns the corner. I feel for you.

theFamilyC said...

Thanks for all the advice.

jac For the last few weeks, she actually been resisting nursing while lying down. She wanted to be nursed in the usual position (meaning I am upright and sitting while she is cradled in my arms). Last night, she finally let me nurse while she was lying down and it was wonderful. I finally got more than an hour of sleep. Thanks for the tip.

a's mommy I do love Dr sears and have his Baby Book. I try to do that but no matter how deep the sleep, she would awaken when we put her down. Sometimes I would just sleep with her in my arms. That keeps her sleeping.

km Thanks for the advice. We have been bottle feeding and G has actually become an expert in putting her to sleep doing what he calls the "drunken master" walk. It works but the problem has been keeping her asleep. Last night though she co-slept. For a few weeks she refuses co-sleeping and will get even more annoyed if I tried.

Thanks for all the posts. As I have mentioned s was really good last night at letting me co-sleep. I had a good night's sleep which is something I really needed since I had a client meeting this morning. So thefamilyc is actually relatively well-rested today.